Yes, you read it right! We are adopting…again! Many of you have been following our adoption journey for the past three years. If you haven’t been following our journey here is a quick re-cap.
Three years ago, we began the process to adopt three boys from Tanzania. After making several trips there for court hearings, and not making much progress in the process, we decided to move to Tanzania to start life as a family.
So, at the beginning of 2018 we both quit our jobs, rented our house out, and moved to Tanzania anticipating staying and living with the boys until the adoption was complete and they could come home. Unfortunately, things did not go as planned and we returned home without the boys in May of this year.
Quickly upon arriving in Tanzania we discovered corruption was involved in our case and withdrew our application to adopt. By doing so, the boys can eventually be reunited with their Father when he has a sustainable lifestyle to take care of three boys as a single father.
We enrolled the oldest boy in school and the twins will start next year. We are still able to keep in touch and have heard the boys are all doing really well. Our goal is to continue to support the boys through schooling as long as we are able to financially.
Upon returning back to the States we decided to take a month-long road trip. Our house was still rented, and we did not have jobs, so we felt it would be a good opportunity for us to get away and have time to grieve and process everything we had just been through. We saw many beautiful places in the pacific-northwest, but our trip was a lot more exhausting than we anticipated.
Once we got home we realized, despite being exhausted, the Lord had used our time to really heal our hearts in ways we never even imagined. We both felt a huge weight lifted and as we processed our adoption journey we truly felt nothing was wasted. Everything in our journey needed to happen to get us to move to Tanzania and we needed to move to Tanzania to find out about the corruption and get closure we never would’ve had otherwise.
We were ok with letting our plans to adopt rest for a little while after everything we had just gone through, but God had different plans. Our first night back in our house I got an email from a friend I met through our Tanzanian adoption process. She apologized if her email crossed a line or was too soon, but she felt the Lord had continued to prompt her to tell Derrick and I about a certain adoption program.
This program is for kids that have already been adopted but are not doing well in their current homes. Their families have decided to have them re-adopted in hopes of giving them a fresh start in a new family. We had no idea programs like this even existed, but they’ve been around for the past few years and have proven to be very successful and beneficial for the kids.
We looked at the website more curious than interested, but we both instantly felt drawn to the profile of a little girl. We were very surprised by the excitement our hearts felt and before we knew it we were considering beginning a new adoption process.
As we talked about the possibility the main thought that came to mind for us was that we have a choice. A choice to sit in our grief from the boys or a choice to move forward and continue to pursue the calling of adoption we feel the Lord has placed on our lives.
The idea of adopting was nothing new to us and having a child in a few months didn’t scare us, considering we had just moved to a third-world country to raise three young boys! One girl that is 10 years old almost seemed easy in comparison.
We decided to get more information and pray about the possibility and before we knew it we were approved by the girl’s family and officially pursuing the adoption of a sweet 10-year-old girl originally adopted from Africa.
Derrick and I feel we would’ve never been interested in a program like this or an older child before we went through our previous process. It is amazing to realize how much the Lord has transformed our hearts.
In the midst of deciding to move forward I felt the Lord reveal a new passion in my heart and mind. Our previous adoption fulfilled our desire and calling to adopt but it was also filling a void in my heart to be a mom. I believe we have God-given desires and passions, but I also believe sometimes they can become selfish.
I’m not saying desiring to be a mother is selfish but for me personally I don’t think my heart was in the right place for the boys… it fulfilled more than just a calling.
In processing, I felt the Lord so clearly transition my heart to desiring to be a mom, due to the need of the child, not my own need. And more than that, a child that needs a mom to love her regardless of her ability to love in return. It’s a beautiful picture of what our relationship with the Lord is. His love for us is unconditional no matter how many times we fail and regardless of how well we love Him back.
Derrick and I are aware of many different challenges this process could bring, but we are so ready to love on this litter girl as our daughter.
With all of that said, we have been busy getting our home study re-done so we can move forward in the process. We are not sure of a specific time-line, but it is highly likely that we will have her home before the end of the year. It is a crazy contrast to the last process we were in!
As you’re probably aware, adoptions are not cheap, and we are coming out of a season of major financial loss from our previous adoption. It is a very vulnerable and humbling place to be in again, as we now have new financial burdens for this adoption.
We have been so blessed by the people who have supported us prayerfully, emotionally, relationally and financially throughout the last three years. We’ve felt so much love and support and couldn’t be more grateful. Please continue to keep us and our soon to be daughter in your prayers as we all prepare to become a family!